Fantasy Football At Its Worst…

Ahhhh, there is nothing like a win in fantasy football.  You spent all day watching football, closely following your team to see if your players can find the end-zone and suffocate your opponent.  And after Sunday Night Football ends you are ecstatic.  You have a 50 point lead and you are on cloud-9 knowing (for now..) that you have locked up a victory for your push for the playoffs.

Monday morning you wake up to a text from your buddy you were playing this week.  You are assuming his text will read something to the lines of “nice match this week, you killed me, man”.  Excited to read this and reply, you open up the message and your heart sort of sinks.  That euphoria you embraced that helped you sleep like a little angel quickly fades.  “Julio Jones and Pierre Thomas tonight #comeback #mondaynightfootball”.  Who sends hash tags in their texts?  But regardless, you are caught off guard.  “How did I forget to double check HIS team?  Yeah, I saw his score posted, but HOW DUMB to forget about THIS!”

Monday night rolls along, and even though your win was all of a sudden stolen for you from the time being, you still possess your confidence that this win is yours.  I mean, Julio Jones is elite, but Pierre Thomas?  Trash.

End of the first quarter, stat-line reads:

Jones: 3 receptions, 50 yards = 8 Points               Thomas: 11 yards rushing, 1 reception for 8 yards = 2 Points

So you are still up 40 points.  You are fine.

Half time stat-line….

Jones: 4 receptions, 62 yards = 10 Points            Thomas: 25 rushing yards, 4 receptions for 25 yards, 1 TD = 15 Points

You start to get a little nervous.  He’s only down 25 points.  I mean, you were up 50.  It was in the bag.  But 25 now?  Should be fine…no worries.

end of the 3rd quarter…..

Jones: 4 receptions, 62 yards = 10 Points             Thomas: 31 rushing yards, 4 receptions for 25 yards, 1 TD = 15 Points

YES!!!! You survived the 3rd quarter!  Matt Ryan isn’t throwing the ball to Julio, and Thomas isn’t getting the snaps anymore.  Just as expected, you are fine.  You take a shower and get ready for bed.  After getting out of your celebratory shower, you decide to text your “buddy” (temporary enemy) to let him know “maybe next week”.  Problem is he already texted you…”COMEBACK CITY B****!!!!!! #letsgo”.  Again with the annoying hash-tags, but this time you don’t believe what you read.  You quickly walk out to the television in your towel, still soaked, and you take one glance at the television as you see Julio Jones, that guy that they weren’t throwing to, celebrating in the end-zone with some ridiculous touchdown dance (you know it’s cool but this isn’t the time to acknowledge that).  In fact, this wasn’t his first dance in the quarter.  It’s his second.  The first being an 80-yard bomb on a go route to start of the quarter, and the next a 10 yard fade after Drew Brees threw a costly interception that left the Falcons with the ball in the red-zone.

count that up.

Jones: 6 receptions, 152 yards, 2 TDs = 33 Points            Thomas: 31 rushing yards, 4 receptions for 25 yards, 1 TD = 15 Points

48 points vanished from your gigantic lead going into monday night.  2 points remain on your hopes of victory.  You have been on a roller coaster all day and you are starting to get nauseous.  2 minutes left in the game, Pierre Thomas stayed off the field, but the Saints punted the ball back into Falcons territory.  Atlanta is down by 2, so they only need a field goal to win.  First couple of plays they target Julio Jones.  You are sweating profusely and holding your breathe every time Matt Ryan looks his way.  This cannot be happening.  They get a first down, and another, and no catches for Julio! they are on the Saints 40, but with no timeouts and 30 seconds to go they cant just run the ball to get into field goal range.  They continue to chuck the ball, and BOOM!  A spectacular catch by a Falcons receiver on the sideline for a first down to the 30.  The announcers don’t know who caught it, you don’t either, and at this very moment you wished you paid for the HD cable.  “RODDY WHITE WITH A SPECTACULAR GRAB!” John Gruden yells as the weight of the world is lifted off your chest.  ” But Roddy didn’t get out of bounds, and the falcons have to rush up to the line and spike this with only 12 seconds left and time ticking down!”

Seconds are minutes at this point.  You really cannot comprehend what is going on.  All you are focused on is seeing that field goal unit come out after the spiked ball from Ryan.  9 seconds and ticking, the Falcons line up, Ryan hikes the ball, appears to spike the ball, but no.

What happens here doesn’t happen in football games.  Especially not the National Football League.  a 47-yard field goal is quite makable for pro kickers, so Ryan just needs to spike the ball to stop the clock and send in the field goal unit.  But no.  Not this week.  Not on Monday Night Football.  Not when your fantasy week rides on that offense to get off the field before it’s too late.

“Wait, Ryan keeps the ball!! He he’s got Julio Jones wide open down field!!!!!! TOUCH DOWN FALCONS!!!!!!!”

Off goes t.v..  Your kitchen table is cleaned off with one swipe of the arm.  Is that a bottle?  Let me throw that.  Your phone is blowing up with Mr. Hash-tag-son-of-a-B**** delivering all of the messages.  How am I still in my towel?  You ask yourself.  No matter, off to bed where you realize how much you hate fantasy football, but you know you will be up next sunday doing the same thing as this week.


Ryan Jackson

About Ryan Jackson

My name is Ryan Jackson and I love fantasy sports. I graduated from the University of Maine in 2014 with a degree in Journalism, and I am now a graduate student at Quinnipiac University working on a sports journalism degree.